Why Therapy Doesn’t Work for Some People (And When It Actually Does)
If you’ve tried therapy before and thought, “This isn’t helping,” you’re not alone—and you’re not doing it wrong.
Therapy doesn’t fail because people don’t try hard enough. It fails when the approach doesn’t match the nervous system sitting in the room.
Talking Isn’t Always the Problem — Timing Is
Traditional talk therapy assumes that insight leads to change. For some people, that’s true.
For others, insight just becomes:
More self-awareness with no relief
Better explanations for the same patterns
A polished story about pain that still lives in the body
When the nervous system is stuck in fight, flight, or freeze, logic doesn’t land. The body stays reactive even when the mind understands everything.
Why “Insight-Only” Therapy Can Stall
Therapy often doesn’t work when:
Someone is chronically dysregulated or dissociated
Trauma is stored somatically, not verbally
Emotions are processed intellectually instead of experientially
The client is over-functioning and “doing therapy well”
In these cases, talking about feelings can actually keep people stuck above the experience instead of moving through it.
When Therapy Does Work
Therapy becomes effective when it:
Works with the nervous system, not against it
Allows emotions to be processed, not just named
Helps the body feel safe enough to change patterns
Moves at the pace of regulation, not productivity
This is where approaches like EMDR, IFS, and somatic-informed therapy can make a difference—because they address how experiences live in the body, not just the story around them.
If Therapy Didn’t Work Before
It doesn’t mean therapy isn’t for you.
It means that version of therapy wasn’t the right fit for your system at that time.
Healing isn’t about talking more.
It’s about processing differently.
